Valentine code

I stumbled across an article on MarieClaire.com that purports to decode what particular Valentine’s Day gifts really mean.



It’s mostly tongue-in-cheek, I think, ranging from “I forgot Valentine’s Day” (a heart-shaped box of chocolates from the supermarket) to “I’m crazy about you” (anything he made with his own two hands).

Actually, that last item – along with “I’m a cheesy romantic” (a relationship scrapbook) – set this list apart from the pitches we’re accustomed to seeing in advertising: “How much you love her is measured by how much you spend on Valentine’s Day.”

OK, let’s clear up a couple of things first of all.

Yes, I wrote “her” in there when I could have written “her or him.” Yes, women can and do give their guys gifts for Valentine’s Day, but let’s get real ... the vast bulk of commercial pressure and the majority of actual consumption falls on the men in the relationship. That’s true by the time kids pass through the period of exchanging cards with all of their classmates.

Also, this is not one of those articles venting against Valentine’s Day as artificial and manufactured by the greeting card companies. While that might be true, I’m perfectly OK with the idea of a day set aside to say, “I love you,” if for no other reason than because some people need a little prodding to say something, even though it’s a deeply sincere expression.

On to my point.

If you want to buy your love a gift and have the means to do so ... go for it.

Do not, however, put yourself into debt, do not risk your well-being just because you’re afraid she won’t understand something from the heart.

Instead, keep the expression of love honest and heartfelt. Tell her, even if it’s with nothing more than softly spoken words, what she means to you and maybe speculate on the future. Saying “I love you too much to mortgage our future for a ‘shock-and-awe’ present” can go a long way toward cementing a serious relationship.

Let’s face it, if she’s not happy with something from your heart, it’s best to find that out now and without dropping a wad of cash.

Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all.
(c) 2011 by Steve Martaindale