A plot with a view

(c) 2010 by Steve Martaindale
You’ve heard people say, “Somebody just walked over my grave,” when they experienced goose bumps or shivers running down their spine.

I do not know the origin of that old saying, but I now know where to look whenever the feeling occurs. Yes, I am now the proud owner of a burial plot. Man, do I feel all grown up and responsible.



Leah and I came from towns 125 miles apart when we met at college. Since marrying, we have lived in eight different areas of Texas. That gives us, currently, 10 places to give reasonable consideration for a final resting place.

Naturally, we picked a place we’ve never lived.

Through the years, we have occasionally bandied about the question of where either would like to be buried. We never really had a strong contender and often ended with, “Wherever we are at the time, I guess.”

One thing was decided long ago, that even though we’re open to the idea of cremation, we must have a headstone in a cemetery and we want something interesting written on it. That’s because we’ve both enjoyed strolling through cemeteries and reading markers.

Our own “something interesting” remains a topic of discussion. With a little luck, we’ll decide before leaving that responsibility to our daughter.

Where to dig

Back to the location of our gravesites.

Somewhat out of the blue, Leah mentioned several months ago that she thought we should be buried in Sulphur Springs. Perhaps that was when we were there for her aunt’s funeral.

It made all kinds of good sense to me because so many of her relatives have been laid to rest in that cemetery. My family, on the other hand, has no central location. My mother’s in northeast Texas, her parents in Oklahoma, my dad’s folks outside of Longview and I’m not sure if any aunts or uncles share a cemetery.

The plots we selected are several feet from where Leah’s folks will eventually lie. Elsewhere within the same cemetery Leah has one set of grandparents, an aunt, uncles from either side, cousin, great-aunts and so on.

After closing the deal on our spots, we walked all over the grounds, in spite of the intense heat, seeking out certain graves and, as always, looking for something of interest. It felt comfortable and we knew it was the right place for us to be in the end. Should our daughter or grandson desire to visit, they too will be able to walk among the headstones of various extended family members.

Some people, I understand, have trouble talking about such things, but we view death as nothing more than a passage between lives. A used up body is the only thing deposited in the grave.

Still, a gathering place for headstones also serves to focus memories and that is a good thing.

Now, what to put on my stone ...

(c) 2010 by Steve Martaindale
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 PS: I received a detailed e-mail from a reader in Sherman, Texas, and thought some highlights worth sharing. A retired minister, he said he and his wife decided a few years ago on cremation but also wanted to leave a gravestone. They have their stone engraved and in place at their plots. Likewise, he said the memorial service is planned to the last detail. “I told our pastor if he changes one comma in my memorial service, I will rise up from the ashes and haunt him!!” he wrote.
 
He said they were led in their decisions through his many experiences with grieving families dealing with making funeral plans. He said cremation and a memorial service will be less expensive and more acceptable.
As for their gravestone, they have on the front their names, professions, names of children and their dates of birth, a quote from a poem and a replica of Martin Luther’s seal. On back are the names of their parents. Such detail will greatly please future genealogists.

 He closed by advising we talk our plans over with our daughter to find out how she feels about them.
 
Thanks. Now, what do y’all think?