So long, my friend

We were surprised Sunday to receive word of the death of a friend, perhaps more surprised to learn he had been seriously ill for several months.

It is an effect of our near-nomadic lives. We knew Ken (who died Sunday morning) and Jennie Ragan when we all lived in Port Aransas. Leah and I moved from there five years ago and Ken and Jennie did the same a couple of years later. Therefore, we were not keeping in touch regularly with the same people.

Jennie and I traded e-mails on occasion, but I just looked and the last time was late 2009. When Leah talked to Jennie last night, we found out Ken’s illness first hit him in January.

It wasn’t until the spring, however, they learned the real problem was cancer. Apparently, the disease was well advanced by then.

Recently, Jennie said, they moved back to their hometown. It’s my guess Ken wanted to end his journey where it began. It’s good to know he was able to do that.

Another reason the news of Ken’s death was so startling to us is that he was such a strong, vibrant man.

He had served a career in the Army and retired a captain, best I remember, and then made a second career in the Texas parks service, rising to a high level there also.

He was not finished with the Army, however, because they called him back not long after we began searching Iraq for weapons of mass destruction. I never got straight just why Ken, in his 50s, was important enough for them to reactivate, but apparently he had some expertise in nuclear weapons or something. He really did not talk about the details.

Ken did not want to go to Iraq, but he accepted the role and jumped in. Talking to him after his return, while looking at photos he brought back, I remember vividly that he supported the effort. We’re doing a lot of good things for the people over there, he said.

It was easy to imagine Ken doing good things for people.

This column is not solely a tribute to Ken Ragan for I really did not know him well enough to relate his life story or anything. Instead, it is to serve as a reminder.

Friends come and go these days. If you’re not moving, you have friends new and old who are. We have no way of knowing when we last say farewell to someone.

But that is true of any relationship. At any goodbye, we might see someone for the last time.

That’s not intended as a downer, by the way. Quite to the contrary, if we consider that any farewell might be the last time we see a friend or relative, we should make the effort to part in a fashion true to our relationship. Be sure to say, “I love you,” “It was really good to see you” or “Thanks for everything.”

I believe the last time I saw Ken was a dinner at their house on Mustang Island. I remember him giving some advice concerning a trailer hitch in the bed of our truck.

No parting words come to mind, though the truth is I probably could not have said what I feel now: “You’re a good man, Ken. You’ve done good work here, your wife is a wonderful extension of your life and you have two amazing sons. It’s been great knowing you and I hope to see you again soon.”