Do you remember, back in the day, the excitement over the arrival of the annual Sears & Roebuck catalog? It was an institution in itself. I’m sure settlers moved more confidently toward the west due to the fact Sears & Roebuck shipped whatever was needed.
Through the years, many popular catalogs have come and gone, but I crossed paths with a new one the other day. New to me, that is, though it’s apparently been around more than 15 years.
Duluth Trading Co.’s catalog hit it off with me right away with a clever pitch for its “Longtail T,” a T-shirt that’s three inches longer than normal, something the company bills as a solution for “plumber’s butt.”
Throughout the catalog, one gets the idea they set about creating products to answer problems – wicking away sweat (yeah, this catalog comes right out and calls it “sweat”), loose-fitting in the right places, tight-holding in the right places, plenty of pockets on work clothes ... you get the idea.
Then, I came across the Fire Hose Work Pants.
Made from “the same great 100 percent cotton canvas that once wrapped rubber fire hoses,” the canvas is “specially washed” to make it comfortable and then treated to “resist stains and water.”
Sounds good, right? Well, check the guarantee.
Should a pair ever “fray, tear, rip or give out, send them back” for a “spankin’ new pair free, and the shipping’s on us.”
Now, doesn’t that just scare the pants off you?
What's next?
Think about what something like this can do to our economy. If everyone started wearing indestructible clothing, the industry would just fade away.
And what if the idea were to spread?
You think Detroit has problems now, what if auto manufacturers began making cars that did not break down? Jobs for mechanics would dwindle as only antique – pre-indestructible era – cars need their services.
It might start as a boon, but it would blow back on Detroit as soon as everyone has a car that lasts forever. Most of the new cars would only replace broken cars ... for free.
What if roads no longer need repairs? What if the pipes in your home never burst and the water heater lasts forever? What about a computer that never “freezes” or “crashes”?
We dare not let society get too far down this path. We owe it to our grandchildren to preserve a culture where things fray, tear, rip and give out. It’s natural.
Look at nature. Mountains form through the movement of the earth’s crust and then slowly erode under wind and rain. Entire animal and plant species flourish and disappear, even without man’s intervention. Man rises to the top of the food chain and commands all he surveys, only to be downed by a mosquito.
Yes, we must fight back against Duluth Trading Co. and its shortsighted attempt for longevity.
Congress is great at passing laws that prove worthless in short order, so let it now show how much it cares about our country’s future. Write your representatives and encourage them to outlaw indestructible materials.
But wait until my new pants arrive.
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Check out Steve Martaindale's book, "The Reporter and the Ferret."
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