Originally published Dec. 24, 2003
What is Christmas to you?
Roscoe: Hmm. Good question. I guess it's a nice break from routine. That includes parties and fun times with friends like all of us here. I mean, would we all be here tonight if it wasn't for Christmas?
Anne: We could still have parties, but, you're right, we probably wouldn't find the time. The first thing that pops into my mind is all the wonderful food. And it's all fat-free, right?
Jonelle: You wish.
Deborah: Care for another fat-free eggnog?
Jonelle: It's the music. Case closed. Christmas, to me, is the music. "Silent Night," "Winter Wonderland" and "Jingle Bell Rock."
Kent: There you go. Classical Christmas music with "Jingle Bell Rock." That just makes you warm all over.
Little Tommy: Daddy?
Kent: Not now, son.
Susan: Maybe not warm like a chick flick, but the song is at least happy. And therein lies my Christmas. I enjoy seeing the faces of people when I wish them a merry Christmas. You don't get smiles that big the rest of the year. Yeah, I like the holiday because it's a time when folks are more likely to be happy.
Bill: Roscoe looks pretty happy.
Roscoe: Gimme a break. I already said my Christmas was time with friends, so I'm just soaking it up ... the friendship, that is. You haven't answered the question, Bill.
Mark: Bill treasures his Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination.
Susan: What in the world does that mean?
Deborah: I think it means that Mark is just as happy as Roscoe.
Tommy: Mom?
Jonelle: The grownups are talking right now, Tommy.
Bill: OK, must I be the honest one here? It's the crass commercialization. Yes, my name is Bill and I like getting presents.
Deborah: Don't worry, Bill. Anne tells me you've been a relatively good boy this year.
Anne: Don't over-inflate his hopes or his ego; I only said that I finally got him trained to leave the toilet seat down most of the time.
Mark: Say it ain't so. Roscoe, Kent, put the word out through the macho underground. Bill's gone over to the other side.
Roscoe: Hmm. Good question. I guess it's a nice break from routine. That includes parties and fun times with friends like all of us here. I mean, would we all be here tonight if it wasn't for Christmas?
Anne: We could still have parties, but, you're right, we probably wouldn't find the time. The first thing that pops into my mind is all the wonderful food. And it's all fat-free, right?
Jonelle: You wish.
Deborah: Care for another fat-free eggnog?
Jonelle: It's the music. Case closed. Christmas, to me, is the music. "Silent Night," "Winter Wonderland" and "Jingle Bell Rock."
Kent: There you go. Classical Christmas music with "Jingle Bell Rock." That just makes you warm all over.
Little Tommy: Daddy?
Kent: Not now, son.
Susan: Maybe not warm like a chick flick, but the song is at least happy. And therein lies my Christmas. I enjoy seeing the faces of people when I wish them a merry Christmas. You don't get smiles that big the rest of the year. Yeah, I like the holiday because it's a time when folks are more likely to be happy.
Bill: Roscoe looks pretty happy.
Roscoe: Gimme a break. I already said my Christmas was time with friends, so I'm just soaking it up ... the friendship, that is. You haven't answered the question, Bill.
Mark: Bill treasures his Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination.
Susan: What in the world does that mean?
Deborah: I think it means that Mark is just as happy as Roscoe.
Tommy: Mom?
Jonelle: The grownups are talking right now, Tommy.
Bill: OK, must I be the honest one here? It's the crass commercialization. Yes, my name is Bill and I like getting presents.
Deborah: Don't worry, Bill. Anne tells me you've been a relatively good boy this year.
Anne: Don't over-inflate his hopes or his ego; I only said that I finally got him trained to leave the toilet seat down most of the time.
Mark: Say it ain't so. Roscoe, Kent, put the word out through the macho underground. Bill's gone over to the other side.
Bill: Cute, Mark. Speaking of cute, that's a darling little pullover you're wearing. Did you knit it yourself?
Mark: Careful, there, toilet seat master, lest you tread on my favorite part of Christmas, my family. Yes, this darling little pullover is indeed handmade, lovingly knitted and perled just for me.
Deborah: And you love it, too.
Mark: Yes, dear, I love it, too.
Deborah: Clothes are my favorite part of Christmas and I don't just mean making them. I love to be able to wear holly and Santa and reindeer and candy cane designs and not feel strange.
Kent: I can't believe we've not mentioned the most obvious thing about Christmas. How many times have you heard it? Christmas is for kids.
Susan: Well, of course. I guess we just thought that went without saying. You're right; it wouldn't be quite the same without them.
Tommy: Daddy!
Kent: Now, Tommy, what did I tell you?
Tommy: Sorry, Daddy.
Brief silence.
Anne: Oh, the irony.
Kent: Son, I'm sorry. What is it?
Tommy: I know what Christmas is.
Jonelle: That's great, Tommy. Say it nice and loud so we can all hear.
Tommy: It's the birthday of Jesus. Right?
(c) 2009 by Steve Martaindale
No comments:
Post a Comment